This is not about feminism, but my journey in feminism and people along the way, whom I do appreciate.
A year ago, I had no idea about feminism at all. A dear friend of mine was “blabbering” about feminism and how patriarchy has been embedded in the proud culture of the faculty of Engineering, Chulalongkorn University.
I said he was babbling. Yes. It was totally nonsense for me. I didn’t even understand how “being gentlemen” is benevolent sexism. As time went by, I realized slowly but steadily. I am now confident to say, it is true and I am ashamed. We, intania, have been unknowingly contributing to the patriarchy, which prevents us from gender equity. Part of me even believes that this restrains females in pursuing the fields of STEM.
Surprisingly, it was not so common at the time. I started to realize sexism and racism jokes around me, and I decided to interrupt a conversation. However, I was a newbie in the field and I didn’t have much knowledge to explain or convince. At some points, I felt like the only idiot who is problematic and sees invisible issues. Eventually, I was labeled as a “Social Justice Warrior” (SJW). It was talk of the town but not such a hard time as I still have friends by my side. My friends didn’t judge me, yet I still had to explain a lot.
The story didn’t stop at the first encounter. It happened again earlier this year. Although I gained more knowledge and allies, we discussed for nights, and sadly, some people parted ways in the end, either by my choice or by theirs. Nevertheless, it was a good chance to revisit my thoughts and actions. People kindly warned me that I was too straightforward, and it was less acceptable in Thailand.
Yet funnily enough, I am not as direct as German people. My supervisors told me to be more direct and say what I want. Detour is just time-consuming and not practical. I do agree.
The recent event in the most prestigious University of Thailand has changed it all. The sexual harassment and its normalization in the university that have been swept under the rug were discovered. Normalization was pointed out as totally unacceptable. Although it just started from sexual harassment, I hope one day we will all realize not to make jokes about social issues. It can unintentionally hurt some people.
More importantly, it turned out that there were not just me and my dear friend. I was invited to join the clubhouse about sexual harassment and feminism in the university. There were almost 300 who were listening and believe me, that is incredible for this circle group. Things start to go the right way.
Indeed, labeling others as SJW was a reflection of their mindset to a belief of gender equity and normalization. Some even said that I was old-school and I will know one day that I was wrong.
Unfortunately, that day will never come.
Lastly, I see how powerful the Engineering Students Committee could be. It made me feel a bit ashamed, not of what I did when I was a vice president, but of what I have never done when I could. Honestly, I have never thought of it. Your gesture is so impressive. I wish you the greatest journey in the year ahead. It is going to be tough, yet I hope you do find joy along the way. It was one of the best decisions in my life, and I hope that for you too. I am looking forward to seeing changes in one of my beloved places.
“Wer kämpft, kann verlieren, wer nicht kämpft, hat schon verloren.”
— Bertolt Brecht
Whoever fights can lose, whoever doesn’t fight has already lost.
It is going to be a long journey, but I will never give up. This is not just for the future generations, but also for part of me who didn’t have enough courage to speak and stand up for myself.
